Straight Talk

Optimistic Thoughts, Pensive Moments, Being Me.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Expectations

Save for God Almighty, can any one ever decipher the intricate codes of the human mind, the tangled thoughts, the hidden agendas, the cruel or kind intentions? You think you know someone, but sooner or later you realize, your thinking may have been wrong. Or was it? Did the analysis/intuition go wrong because of our expectations? Do we have the right to judge people because we expected something else? Do we expect too much from the people we love and care about? Why do we put such unncessary pressure, knowingly or unknowingly, on the people we love the most? But is it wrong to expect? Is it possible to live without any expectations? Is expectation equivalent to hope? Even if we don't have any expectations, or we say we don't have any, deep down inside, don't we all expect something? Parents expect certain things of their children, children in turn expect certain things from their parents, lovers expect each other to be kind and caring throughout, friends expect their friendship to last for ever. But what happens when expectations crumble? Does it affect the relationship in turn? Should we burden a beautiful relationship by piling on fair/unfair expectations? So many questions, but so few answers..

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19 Comments:

Blogger Nariyal Chutney said...

We should not expect too much from the people we love and care about but we should expect too too much from the people who love and care about us . Ente Randu paisa :)

November 03, 2007 7:06 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Hey, you're back!

Sometimes I think even an omniscient being can't figure out some people. Then again, wouldn't life be really boring if we could figure everyone out?

Expecting something of someone is natural, indeed, we should in fact have certain standards. You'd just get stepped on if you don't. The way I try to see it is "no relationship is worth your self esteem". Ever. So while it's OK to be forgiving, to pass over perceived faults, there's always a limit. Chin up, girl!

November 04, 2007 1:16 AM  
Blogger Alexis said...

We always can have expectations. The problem occurs when someone does not live up to the expectations. You have two choices--let is go or tell the person that it was not what you expected. The decision to let go or tell depends on the relationship and level of comfort with the other person.That is my opinion...

November 04, 2007 9:45 AM  
Blogger silverine said...

There are certain expectations that have to be met for any relationship to flourish. Relationships are expectational, if I may use the word. Lets not pretend it is not! I expect somethings from my family, they in turn expect somethings from me. We meet each others expectations because we care for each other. Of course these are reasonable expectations. I cant expect my Dad to buy me a Ferrari :p But I can expect him to be there when I need him. In fact my expectations of the guy in my life will help me zero in on 'my' Mr Right. If he then changes tracks then it means that he was lying and pretending to be somebody he is not, or he has no respect for my sentiments. So if someone doesnt meet your reasonable expectations, then he/she is not worth it. My two no nonsense cents.

Sorry for long comment. Glad to see you blogging :)

November 04, 2007 10:57 AM  
Blogger quills said...

@NC, Thanks for your 2 cents. :) Much appreciated.

@Jim: Yeah. :) Hope you good. Glad to see your comment..yay! I guess you are right. But sometimes, I guess we expect too much (even when we know we are asking for the moon) esp from the people we love the most..making it way difficult for them too. :(

@alexis: You are absolutely right. As usual, Alexis you hit the nail right on the head. :) Glad to see you here.

@silverine: Firstly, Congrats on your promotion. You will make an excellent manager. :) ( I have been reading your posts, but apologize for not always commenting).

Secondly, so glad you commented here. :) Short or long it does not matter..you always make sense. :)

Thirdly, Sigh!!! :( You are right about the Ferrari part.. but it is always okay to ask I suppose, even when you know the answer is going to be a big NO. :) Comfort level is so high..you can even ask for the moon, and you know that he will only take it the right way and get it for you, if he possibly could. ;)

November 04, 2007 11:16 AM  
Blogger mayenfeld said...

Quills, you are back!! Hurray. Now, I 'expect' you to update every week;-).

November 04, 2007 11:28 AM  
Blogger ursjina said...

hey..welcome bk..:)
I guess there is not even one relnship which comes without any expectation atttached...

November 05, 2007 12:13 AM  
Blogger mathew said...

It is very human to expect something from the other person in a relationship..But personally our job is made much easier if we can think in a different way where we ask ourselves whether we are meeting the expectations of the other in a mutually satisfying way.It is much more easier than weighing up whether the other person met our expectation.The second option might never make us happy coz every person is different from the other and it might be possible to meet say 80% of expectations..but there would still be a 20% which might be difficult.
But in a true honest loving relation i think expectation of oneself take a backseat to the expectation of the other!

p.s.good to see u blogging again.

November 05, 2007 2:37 AM  
Blogger shruti said...

Hmm ..a complex subject . Expectation = The outcome to any event to be the way you want it to be
Degree of expectation ( depending on the relationship) - the importance you attach to the outcome being the way you want it.
Since both the outcome and the importance placed on it is as per that particular person's individual needs expectations are inherently selffish and hence do not lead to anything but misery and pain .
The core lies in having faith in what you are doing , Doing it honestly ie. whatever you do the intetions and even the thought behind it should be pure ( one sure way of achieving this is to check your thought on certain parameters when it arises in the mind , might be tough initially but helps in the long run as it becoms a habit) and then being unruffled by the outcome . Whether the outcome is according to you or not faith that it is the best outcome in that situation gives eternal hope .it helps you grow , learn what you ahd to learn and gian from that outcome and keep moving on in life . It will transform your life in a way you didnt not think possible and open doors which which only a blessed few know . Simply put imagine when nothing bothers you how much peace and bliss is there in your mind , it is the best kind of happiness that can be experienced and only the outcomes of all eevnts in our life help us reach that stage then why fret about it .

November 06, 2007 7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lovely to see you back in action :)
coming to your post...so many thoughts inn'it?
well,i'll try to answer some of it based on the relationships that i have seen from outer space ;)

1.can any one ever decipher the intricate codes .... expectations?

Our expectations play spoil sport in every relationship that we hold unless we can find that balance.No,it's not possible to decipher the codes of the human mind unless you have the gift of mind reading which some people from my experience do.No,am not joking. :-|

2.Do we have the right to judge people because we expected something else? No
3...... too much from the people we love and care about? Why do we put such unncessary pressure, knowingly or unknowingly, on the people we love the most? we do it ...unconsciously but when we gain that consciousness we must stop.It's just not right to expect.

4.But is it wrong to expect? answered above.

5. Is it possible to live without any expectations? Is expectation equivalent to hope?

yes,ofcourse.
and we should live so we can feel fuller inside.else there is this constant vaccuum created by our unnecessary and sometimes unrealistic expectations.
Life is not a movie with a happy ending all the time.

Expectation is not equal to hope as the former arises from greed.

6. what happens when expectations crumble?
nothing.life goes on.it depends on how you take it....it should be positive whatever the outcome is.

7.Does it affect the relationship in turn? Should we burden a beautiful relationship by piling on fair/unfair expectations? So many questions, but so few answers..

ONly if you let,it will affect...else you can tide over it.And never burden a beautiful relationship,it has to be let be....there is no way you can balance the equality quotient of the relationship by changing things on either side with either persons expectation.it will just topple and slide.so ease up on it.

hope u got some answers here.... ;)

November 23, 2007 4:21 PM  
Blogger anurekha said...

Hi

This first time I am leaving a comment on your blog. I couldn't help it, a s I am always asking these question to myself and whatever you have written is the just the same that comes to mind. It seems you have read my mind and written my thoughts. I agree more wit silverine's comments. Expectations are always there. How realistic , that's what matter. Even, a person who tells you not to expect is really having an expectation that "you will not expet anything for the person", so in not expecting, expectationis there.

Love the way express inner conflicts

Regards
Anurekha

December 22, 2007 10:13 PM  
Blogger mayenfeld said...

Hi Quills,
Wishing you a very Happy, Happy New Year.
Kesi

December 27, 2007 11:58 PM  
Blogger mayenfeld said...

pssst...you've been tagged...:-)..

April 02, 2008 1:20 AM  
Blogger Pooja said...

I guess the same goes for expectations from oneself. You have certain expectations from yourself and who is at fault when you dont meet them?

July 29, 2008 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Grafxgurl said...

sigh. i think its because we love them... so we unconsciously feel that they need to "reciprocate" that
sometimes its selfishness too.... im party to that often i should say.

September 11, 2008 12:44 PM  
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November 07, 2008 2:29 AM  
Blogger Anjaan said...

I noticed you havent been bloggin for a while either. Or do u have a new location? *looks contemplatively&*

December 04, 2008 9:05 AM  
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